December 20, 2006 - Ginsberg to you, too

Back when ocean liners were the principle method of trans-Atlantic travel, Abe Ginsberg made his first trip to Europe. His dining room seat was next to a Frenchman. First day of the voyage, the French gentlemen bowed and said "bon appetit." Abe responded by bowing and saying "Ginsberg."

After several such exchanges another diner took Abe aside and explained that wasn't the Frenchman's name but a polite wish for him to have a good appetite. Next meal, Abe bowed to his seatmate and said "bon appetit." The Frenchman bowed and replied "Ginsberg."

And that tells us just how petty the current controversy over "Seasons Greetings" and "Merry Christmas" really is.

Instead of responding to "Merry Christmas" with an uptight complaint, the appropriate response is that used by both characters in the above story. It's the same if some one wishes you "Happy Holidays."

Response to a polite well wishing should be returned in kind, not a petulant complaint that it offends you to be greeted in a manner other than your own.

Should diversity freaks get riled if a Native American store clerk gave them a Kiowa blessing while gift-wrapping a purchase? Anybody besides bigots offended by "Happy Hannukah?" How about "Have a nice Kwanzaa." Sure we know the latter is a made-up holiday, but so what? Take the greeting graciously and respond with your own.

Best response from Christians to the generic "Happy Holidays" should be a simple "Merry Christmas." Best response for a non-Christian to "Merry Christmas" can be many things, but should be equally civil.

Ginsberg, everybody.

Pets ain't gifts

Some folks think it's cute to give live animals, usually puppies or kittens, to children or friends as Christmas gifts. Unless the family and parents are involved and the child is old enough to understand what care is needed, or the adult is a known animal-lover with the right environment for a pet, it's a BAD IDEA! Little critters are not stuffed animals.

Daughter Monica in Atlanta who's seriously involved with animal rescue sent me the grim stats on this practice. Close to 90 percent of all Christmas gift pets are gone from the home within the first three months; half of them dead.

A good idea is for those who lost a great pet and haven't replaced it for whatever reason to consider giving the gift of life to one of the many super animals, particularly grown ones, available at Pima Animal Care Center, The Humane Society or adoption groups like ARF and FAIR.

Stop by my favorite big box store, PetsMart, and check out the pooches and kitties available from those groups there. If you don't bring one home, leave a few bucks for the foster care volunteers like Monica provide. Those people are saints.

A better study group

The Iraq Study Group report is what many on all sides expected from long-time establishment fixer James Baker. We got something broad and mushy because members were picked to be broad and mushy. That's how Baker got us into Iraq the first time under Bush 41.

An Iraq Study Group is a great idea, but it should be strong and diverse instead of being a gaggle of certified mushmouths. Qualifications should be things like writing books or having been shot at. Here's my list selected for the size of their constituencies real or imagined, and for the diversity of their views.

Authors and Journalists: Tammy Bruce, Pat Buchanan, T. J. Fehrenbach, Niall Ferguson, Joe Galloway, Amy Goodman, Victor Davis Hanson, Hugh Hewitt, Christopher Hitchens, Robert Kaplan, Bill Kristol, Sam Smith, Mark Steyn.

Politicians, sitting: Sens. Clinton, Obama, McCain, Brownback and Leiberman. Reps. Hoyer, Kucinich, Paul and Hunter. Politicians, former: Sens. Gramm and Nunn; Reps. Armey and Schroeder; plus Rudy Giuliani.

Military: Gens. Franks and Zinni, Lt. Col. Ollie North, Capt Tammy Duckworth plus four randomly selected NCO's with Iraq time, equally divided between regulars and reserves.

There's no way this group could "reach consensus." They would simply clarify options.

More on how and why next week.

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EMIL FRANZI

EMAIL FRANZI

BUT WATCH WHAT YOU SAY!

About Emil Franzi

Emil Franzi is the owner and host of "Inside Track" on KVOI - 690AM and KAPR - 930AM in Douglas. The program airs on Saturdays from 12 pm till 5 pm.

Franzi currently writes a weekly column for the EXPLORER (formerly the NORTHWEST EXPLORER). He filled the TUCSON WEEKLY with close to a million relevant words from 1993 to 2004 and was an OpEd regular with the Az Daily Star from 1994 to 1998. His writing has also appeared in PHOENIX Magazine, ARIZONA HIGHWAYS, and the late CITY MAGAZINE in Tucson.

But then, Franzi is an iconoclast.

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